Ho Chi Minh City has10 million people. And 6 million motor bikes. And when you want to cross the road, they all seem to be heading towards you…

Imagine. You’ve been sightseeing, you’ve loved it but now you’re footsore and weary. You can see one of those chic, charming cafes, all French style and Vietnamese charm, cold drinks, warm welcome. But…it’s on the other side of the road.

And on the road, there are motorbikes.  Lots and lots of them. Everywhere in Vietnam the motor cycle is the workhorse of transport. You’ve spotted one loaded with a ladder, loops of wires and a box of tools, another with a wardrobe, others with seemingly impossible quantities of flowers, of plastic boxes, of brooms and baskets, of those mouth watering baguettes.  You’ve seen a little girl in school uniform, satchel on her back, wedged between Dad and big brother. You’ve seen three giggling students, a mother and daughter in matching pink helmets, two men in black martial arts gear. You’ve seen songbirds in cages, loaded onto the handlebars to be taken to the park for singing practice. You’ve heard an overawed foreigner report: ‘I saw a bike with a family of 5 on it yesterday’.  You’ve been invited -‘you motobike you’ – to take a ride on a ‘xe om’ (literal translation is ‘hug vehicle’).

So, there are lots of motorbikes. But, you might ask, what’s the problem? After all, the city boasts wide streets, plenty of traffic lights, strategically placed zebra crossings. Well, it appears that lights and crossings and traffic signs are often, er, how shall we put this, guidelines, rather than obligatory. And here you are on the roadside. With a torrent of traffic between you and that cafe. Cars, taxis, a few trucks, a tourist minibus. And all those motorbikes, sailing through red lights or down one-way streets the wrong way, darting (illegally) to right or left… You laughed when you heard about foreign tourists standing at the side of the road for an hour waiting to cross, then giving up or booking a taxi to drive them to the other side of the street. Suddenly it doesn’t seem so funny.

But…that café. That cold drink. And you’re at a crossing, surely that must mean something? And just now there’s a break in cars and trucks and buses and look, there’s a local stepping out into the fray… What did they tell you? ‘Let cars and buses go first. Take it slow and steady. Whatever you do, don’t change direction. And don’t stop. Whatever you do don’t stop. They aren’t deliberately targeting you’.

So  – off you go. Deep breath, launch into the free-for-all, into the stream, steady now, hold your nerve. Eyes on the traffic, slowly now, don’t flinch…and yes! the flow of motor bikes parts for you, closes behind you. And then- then there you are! On the pavement in front of the cafe, triumphant, heart beating faster but unharmed. Ready for that drink…