A group of ladies (expatriates from a number of countries) recently visited a restaurant in the Languedoc, South of France. They loved the food and the place – only criticism was the demeanour of the waitress, who happened to be the owner’s wife. One of the group decided to give some feedback: on the way she out suggested that ‘a smile goes a long way’. The waitress responded. ‘I’ve been smiling. Now I’m washing up’
It’s the wedding season in India, where the majority of weddings (up to 90%) are arranged. This a source of fascination to many foreigners, and they want to know how it all works. Ravi, a young Indian guy (married, with a baby daughter) offered to explain to his German colleague Gerd. He related how his parents had chosen a suitable bride for him (same community, similar education, family background etc), how the young couple had been introduced, agreed to the match, and were then married after meeting five or six times.
Gerd: OK, I understand all that. But what about love?
Ravi: Well, in the West love comes before marriage. In India it’s different, we say ‘pyaar ho jaega’ – ‘love will come’ – after marriage.
Gerd: Yes, OK, but when? When will love come?
Ravi (thinks for a moment): Love will come….after about three years.
Gerd: Hummph. In a Western marriage, that’s about when it goes….
We’ve all been there. A place where we can’t speak the language – so we smile. Because smiling is universal, right? It shows we’re friendly, want to connect, in fact, that we’re all round good guys.
Er, yes. And no. Smiling is universal, agreed. And in general people who smile make a good impression. But not always, not everywhere. A Russian student, after being interviewed by Americans, wanted to know what ‘all that smiling’ was about. Because ‘it’s just so insincere’. And in a recent study researchers found that although smiling people were seen as more intelligent in some countries (Germany and China for example), in others, such as Iran, they are judged less intelligent. And the title of the research study? ‘Do only fools smile at strangers’. Ouch.
I wasn’t at all concerned when I opened the curtains one morning recently in the Languedoc, and saw a man in army fatigues with a rifle at the far end of the vineyard. Ah, I said to myself, la chasse has started, I wonder if he’s hunting birds, or hare? Maybe even wild boar? And then I smiled as I wondered if I would be so sanguine if I saw the same sight at the bottom of my garden in England…
travelling frogs 